Allah has
enjoined marriage in a number of
aayahs. He says (interpretation of
the meanings):
“then marry
(other) women of your choice, two or
three, or four; but if you fear that
you shall not be able to deal justly
(with them), then only one or
(slaves) that your right hands
possess. That is nearer to prevent
you from doing injustice.
And give to the women (whom you
marry) their Mahr (obligatory
bridal-money given by the husband to
his wife at the time of marriage)
with a good heart; but if they, of
their own good pleasure, remit any
part of it to you, take it, and
enjoy it without fear of any harm
(as Allah has made it lawful).”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:3-4]
“But if you
intend to replace a wife by another
and you have given one of them a
Qintaar (of gold, i.e. a great
amount as Mahr), take not the least
bit of it back; would you take it
wrongfully without a right and
(with) a manifest sin?
And how could you take it (back)
while you have gone in unto each
other, and they have taken from you
a firm and strong covenant?
[al-Nisaa’ 4:20-21]
“provided
you seek (them in marriage) with
Mahr (bridal-money given by the
husband to his wife at the time of
marriage) from your property” [al-Nisaa’
4:24]
And Allah tells us the story of
how Moosa married the daughter of
the man of Madyan (Midian) in return
for working for him for eight or ten
years.
And Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“and
live with them honourably. If you
dislike them, it may be that you
dislike a thing and Allah brings
through it a great deal of good”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:19]
“but
men have a degree (of
responsibility) over them…” [ al-Baqarah
2:228]
These aayahs
point to the command to marry, and
indicate that it is waajib
(obligatory) or mustahabb
(encouraged) according to
circumstances. Allah encourages men
to choose a righteous wife, as He
says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“Therefore
the righteous women are devoutly
obedient (to Allah and to their
husbands), and guard in the
husband’s absence what Allah orders
them to guard (e.g. their chastity
and their husband’s property)” [al-Nisaa’
4:34]
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said: “Women may be
married for four things: wealth,
beauty, lineage or religious
commitment. Choose the one who is
religious, may your hands be rubbed
with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”
That is because she will benefit her
husband in both his spiritual and
worldly affairs, and will protect
herself and his wealth, and will
take good care of the family and
give the children a good religious
upbringing.
It is permitted
for a man to marry four free women,
and he may have intimate
relationships with as many as he
wishes of slave women whom his right
hand possesses. But it is
recommended to limit oneself to only
one wife if there is the fear of
treating them unjustly.
Allah has
commanded men to give women their
mahr, which may be a small or large
amount, and may take the form of
money/wealth or other benefits. A
man who has an orphan girl under his
guardianship is commanded not to
treat her unjustly. If he wants to
marry her, then he has to treat her
fairly with regard to the mahr, and
not give her less than she deserves.
If he does not want to marry her,
then he should not prevent her from
marrying someone else so that she
will be forced to give him something
of her property or some of her mahr,
for this is injustice and oppression
(zulm). He has to work in her best
interests just as he would do for
his own daughters.
If a woman is
mature and willingly gives her
husband something of the mahr, then
he has the right to consume it
without any blame being attached to
him, so long as that is not because
he is keeping her hanging [not
keeping her as a wife and not
releasing her to marry someone
else]. If he keeps her hanging in
order to get back all or some of
that which he gave to her, he is
guilty of a grave sin. Allah
explained the reason behind that by
asking how he could take that (the
mahr) when he has enjoyed an
intimate relationship with her and
they have gone in unto each other,
and
“and
they have taken from you a firm and
strong covenant” [al-Nisaa’ 4:21 –
interpretation of the meaning].
This covenant means the obligations
of marriage (matrimonials) which
include the fulfilment of all
rights, the first of which is the
mahr. The mahr is reduced by half if
the husband divorces his wife before
consummation of the marriage (matrimonials)
and the mahr has been agreed. She
has the right to half of what has
been agreed unless either of them
gives up his or her half, which then
belongs to the other. In these
aayahs it is shown that the mahr is
the property of the wife and that it
should be paid in full when the
marriage is consummated; the same
applies if the husband dies, because
that is a conclusion to the
marriage.
Allah has
commanded both partners to live
honourably with one another,
treating one another kindly and
refraining from harming one another.
Neither of them should deny or
withhold the rights of the other, or
object to fulfilling those rights.
Living honourably with one another
means that maintenance, clothing,
accommodation etc. should be
provided according to
‘urf (local custom), if
there is any dispute as to value and
definition. It also depends on the
husband’s own circumstances. Allah
says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“Let the rich
man spend according to his means;
and the man whose resources are
restricted, let him spend according
to what Allah has given him. Allah
puts no burden on any person beyond
what He has given him.” [al-Talaaq
65:7]
Allah urges
husbands to be patient with their
wives even if they dislike them,
because their nature may change, or
He may grant children through them,
or there may be many benefits in
their living with them and having
them take care of their property.
The phrase
(interpretation of the meaning):
“and you have given one of them a
Qintaar (of gold, i.e. a great
amount as Mahr)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:20]
indicates that it is permissible to
give a large mahr, but it is better
to be simple in this and other
matters, for the best of women are
those whose demands are simple.
Allah has
forbidden seven kinds of relatives
(for marriage): mothers, including
every female in the direct line of
ascent (i.e., mothers, grandmothers,
etc); daughters, including every
female in the direct line of descent
(i.e., daughters, granddaughters,
etc); sisters from all sides (i.e.,
including half-sisters through the
father or mother); sisters’
daughters, no matter how far the
line of descent; brothers’
daughters, no matter how far the
line of descent; paternal aunts,
i.e., every sister of your father or
grandfathers; maternal aunts, i.e.,
every sister of your mother or
grandmothers. Every other female
relative is permissible for marriage
(matrimonials), such as daughters of
paternal uncles or aunts, or
daughters of maternal uncles or
aunts (first cousins). When there is
a relationship through breastfeeding
(radaa’), the corresponding
relatives of the breastfeeding woman
and her husband, to whom the milk
belongs, are forbidden for marriage
(matrimonials), just as is the case
with blood relationships. As far as
the nursing child is concerned, the
prohibition applies only to him and
his children [i.e., his siblings are
not affected].
Allah has
forbidden marriage (matrimonials) to
four in-laws, three by virtue of the
marriage contract itself [i.e.,
regardless of whether or not the
marriage (matrimonials) is
consummated]. These are the mothers
of your wives, the wives of your
sons, the wives of your fathers.
(The fourth category is) the
daughters of your wives if you have
consummated the marriage (matrimonials)
with their mothers; but if the
marriage (matrimonials) has not been
consummated, there is no sin in
marrying the wives’ daughters.
Allah has
forbidden being married to two
sisters at the same time. The Sunnah
forbids being married to a woman and
her paternal or maternal aunt at the
same time. It also forbids a free
man to marry a slave woman unless he
cannot afford to marry a free woman
and he is afraid of hardship, and
the slave woman is a Muslim.
It is forbidden
for a Muslim man to marry a kaafir
woman and stay married to her,
except for chaste woman from among
those who were given the Book, Jews
and Christians. It is forbidden for
a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir
man. It is forbidden to marry a
zaaniyah (woman who has committed
fornication or adultery) until she
repents, or to marry a woman whom
one has divorced by talaaq three
times, unless she has married
another man in a genuine marriage
(matrimonial), had intercourse with
him and been divorced by him, and
she has completed her ‘iddah.
Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning);
“and
a believing woman if she offers
herself to the Prophet, and the
Prophet wishes to marry her a
privilege for you only, not for the
(rest of) the believers” [al-Ahzaab
33:50]. This clearly
indicates that the believers are not
allowed to marry except with a mahr
that has been stated or agreed upon.
If a condition is stipulated that
there is to be no mahr, that
condition is null and void. Is the
marriage itself invalid because of
that, or should a mahr like that of
a woman of similar status be given,
and the marriage remain valid? There
are two scholarly views on this
point. This also indicates that
“quid-pro-quo” marriages are
forbidden, where two men give one
another their charges (daughters,
sisters etc.) to one another in
marriage, and the mahr of each woman
is the giving of the other woman in
marriage.
Allah states
that if a man marries a woman
without agreeing upon a mahr, then
he divorces her before consummating
the marriage, then she should be
given a gift – a rich man should
give according to his means, and a
poor man should give according to
his means (cf. Al-Baqarah 2:236).
Giving a gift to
a divorced wife in other cases is
Sunnah mu’akkadah
(confirmed Sunnah), as Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“And for
divorced women, maintenance (should
be provided) on reasonable (scale).
This is a duty on Al‑Muttaqoon (the
pious)” [al-Baqarah 2:241]
Allah addresses
women’s guardians with regard to
their marriage in a number of
places, for example (interpretation
of the meanings):
“And when you have divorced women
and they have fulfilled the term of
their prescribed period, do not
prevent them from marrying their
(former) husbands” [al-Baqarah
2:232]
This indicates
that the guardian has a say in the
matter with regard to marriage.
The aayah
(interpretation of the meaning):
“and they have taken from you a firm
and strong covenant” [al-Nisaa’
4:21] indicates that
there has to be the proposal and
acceptance, because the firm and
strong covenant includes the
proposal of marriage and acceptance,
which implies the inclusion of the
rights of the wife, including the
mahr, etc.
The aayah
(interpretation of the meaning)
“if
they mutually agree on reasonable
basis” [al-Baqarah 2:232]
indicates that the mutual
agreement of the two spouses should
be taken into account, and that that
mutual agreement should be on a
reasonable basis. If a woman agrees
to marry a man who is not
compatible, then her guardian has
the right to prevent her from
marrying him.
If a wife is
rebellious, Allah commands the
husband to advise her and to forsake
her in bed [deny her her conjugal
rights]. If she does not then come
to her senses, then he may hit her
(lightly). If there is the fear that
there is a split between them and
that reconciliation is difficult,
then two arbitrators should be
appointed, one from the husband’s
family and one from the wife’s
family, and they should try to
reconcile them if at all possible,
whether by giving some compensation
or by foregoing some rights, or some
other way. Otherwise, they may
separate whether by khul’ or by
asking for talaaq, depending on the
circumstances.
Fath
al-Raheem al-Malik al-‘Allaam fi
‘Ilm al-‘Aqaa’id wa’l-Tawheed
wa’l-Akhlaaq wa’l-Ahkaam al-Mustanbatah
min al-Qur’aan by Shaykh
‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Naasir al-Sa’di,
p. 144
Posted at HilalPlaza on June 3, 2006.
Reference www.Islam-qa.com
