Muslim Engagement and Marriage
The
following is an Islamic ruling and hadith on the Muslim marriage
engagement process from Islamhouse.com:
The hadith:
“Conceal the engagement and proclaim the marriage”
Is it forbidden for Muslims to declare the engagement (alkhotbah)?
If yes, who are the people supposed to know about the
engagement? Are Close friends allowed to know about it?
Praise be
to Allah.
This hadith
was narrated by al-Daylami in Musnad al-Firdaws, where it
says: “Announce the marriage and conceal the engagement.”
This is a da’eef (weak) hadith which was classed as such by
al-Albaani (may Allah have mercy on him) in al-Silsilah al-Da’eefah
(2494), and in Da’eef al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, 922.
But the
first part of it is sahih with the word “proclaim.”
Ahmad
narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr (may Allah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said: “Proclaim marriages.” This hadith
was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel,
1993.
Proclaiming
marriages, in the sense of announcing them and publicizing
them, is obligatory according to the majority of scholars,
indeed it is one of the conditions of a marriage being
valid, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali
(guardian) and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by
al-Bayhaqi from ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as sahih by
al-Albaani in Sahih al-Jaami’, 7557.
Some
scholars regarded it as mustahabb to conceal the engagement
for fear of hasad (destructive envy) which could lead to
trouble between the man and the family of his fiancée, as
stated in Haashiyat al-‘Adawi ‘ala Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel,
3/167.
This is
supported by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him): “Seek help in meeting your needs by
keeping quiet, for everyone who is blessed is envied.”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani; classed as sahih by al-Albaani in
Sahih al-Jaami’, 943.
This does
not apply only to engagement, rather a person should not
show openly the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon him
to one who will envy him for that.
With regard
to holding engagement parties, this is something that many
people do, and there is nothing wrong with that Insha Allah.
But it should be noted that we must adhere to the limits set
by sharee’ah in these parties, so there should be no free
mixing of men and women, or use of musical instruments apart
from the daff, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) allowed use of the daff in wedding
parties.
And Allah knows best
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